|why isntthere a hotwheels community??
||[Oct. 25th, 2004|10:38 am]
Yea so jen tells me i dont write enough in my entries so for now on i am going to ramble onabout senseless things so she has something to read!! HA HA anyways we had a pretty uneventful weekend. I did however with the help of tom manage to get my truck semi-driveable and i have new pics and i will try to post one|
yay i cant wait to finish up mounting the rear shocks and stuff so i cna drive it. Driving it before everyone would look as i raised it and dropped it and stuff. I AM AN ATENTION WHORE yup i sure am and i need some attention. i miss having the cool school ride and stuff. things are just broing without my truck and i ahve so much money in it im scared to think about it. seriously guys i should stop or something. i also think i need to take some pictures of my new hotwheels collection. that would be cool. and today is monday so i should be getting my van back!!!1 wooo wooo wooo, i need a car bad. being in the house all the time is like rediculous. i cant take it anymore. my neck still hurts too btw altho i have stopped wearing my neck brace 24/7 to see if i can deal with the pain. so far it still sucks i just dont think i can get used to this kind of pain. its like annoying really disorienting pain and i dont like it!!. i need to fix the weight machine its been broken for a while and its so easy to fix i dont know what i am waiting for. just lazy i guess. the police exam is on december 4th and jens cousin is taking it to, also i hear that you get hired into the town you live in first if they are hiring. thats kinda shitty because my town suck and the pay sux too. plus i dont wanna live in peekskill forever. i want to be out of here, i dont think its good to raise kids here the town is steadily going down hill. its sad. Grandma and grandpa have lived here since like the 50's. it was nice back then, it was even ok when i was young kinda, well maybe not. its hard to think of living anywhere else but here tho. in NY ive been in this house almost all my life. i did do that time in TX and some small time in mahopac and carmel but my heart has always been here, the grandparents have always been here but what happens when they arent here? will i stil feel i need to be here? will i still be able to live here? could i really leave? oh man so many doubts and such, who would really go with me and where would i go? i asked jen once if she would go to TX with me right after we got back last time and she said no. i wonder if she really means that like say if i lost grams and gramps or got a job offer there like a really good one or i simply culdnt take ny anymore would she really not come with me? i understand her position and all, not leaving her family and such but i would be doing the same, leaving my family and my friends making the sacrafice for me. is it okay for her to say no? then would that be it? i mean we talk serious about are relationship but should it hurt me that she said no? does it mean that she doesnt love me enough? im not saying thats how i feel but they are real questions in my head. and im not saying im going to TX but what if i really wanted to? "here i am alone confused and full of questions"sometimes i wonder if i am what jen settled for, like she holds on to me because she feels im all she could get. i really wish i knew what she thought of herself, us, her life, her future, her plans, our plans, i want to know why she cant talk to me, why she lets herself down, puts herself down. i want to know why she is the way she is and way she looks so sad and why her smiles went away and shit like that......enough of that
these wheels are for sale by a kin in jersey with tires for like 500 or 600 bucks i kinda like them and think they would look good on my truck
time for a shower and to draw or something